Quote 28 Dec 292 notes
What would getting better mean? It would mean every part of my daily life changing. I would change. Everything I really know would be gone and replaced by…what? It’s too foreign to comprehend. I can’t fathom it. And because it is so very hard to give up your way of being and your habits and instead strive for something that you don’t understand at all, I have no hope. And I don’t want to continue in this for another forty, fifty years, so death is the only other option that makes sense to me. If I felt like I knew what normalcy would be like, if I knew enough to know it was worth the enormous struggle that recovery would be, I might be willing to consider it.
— 

mashadisappears (via sickly-thin

)

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    I hope its worth it!
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